Hero
by November Leaving
Summary: Last Chapter Uploaded Draco's life isn't the upstanding thing everyone thinks it is. It's full of hate, pain and darkness but there is a little light that shines though, momentarily warming Draco's heart. It's name is Ron. [preslash]
1. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for maybe the plot! * Sighs * Wish I did though. I also don't own the song "Hero" from the Spider-Man soundtrack sung by Chad Kroeger & Josey Scott. It's a good movie so go see it!  
  
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I hate being known. I hate being tortured. I hate the rumors, the whispers I hear as I walk by. I hate me. I'm sitting here in Potions with the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Snape's lecturing about something or other. The pain of everything grows inside me, so I take out a scrap sheet of paper and write. As the words flow through my fingers like liquid emotions I feel lighter. I'm dizzy with pain and pleasure.  
  
// I am so high, I can hear heaven  
  
I am so high, I can hear heaven  
  
Whoa, but heaven...no, heaven don't hear me //  
  
I fear going home. It's a place full of darkness where a little child has grown up. A little innocence that has now tarnished. Home is a place where a person should feel happy but all I feel is the hand of love crashing upon my face. The bruises, broken bones the busted lips have all complied on a list of "childhood mishaps". My family..what family? They are people who beat me. Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
// And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away //  
  
I'd rather not get too detailed with this. I know I don't what to relive that. I can remember him, a bed and a five-year-old me. Those times I had to spend with him were supposedly lessons. Lessons to make me a man. That's all I think you need to know. I crack a smile. Who am I talking to? I wish it were to my partner. Ronald Benjamin Weasley, I love saying that name. He's my savior in a sense. Everytime I hear his laugh, see his smile, I become so emotionally tranquil.  
  
// Someone told me  
  
Love would all save us  
  
But, how can that be  
  
Look what love gave us //  
  
I wish the bell would chime so I can go back to the safety of my room. I cut myself. Don't ask me why. I don't do it for control or for pleasure, I get that from the many girls and guys who adore me. I hate to sound pompous but there are people out there who adore me. I love the attention but it doesn't satisfy the hunger that I feel for Ron. I crave him like a drug addict craves their drug of choice. But he doesn't get it. His slight thickness prevents him from noticing me. Or at least like how I want him to.  
  
// A world full of killing  
  
And blood spilling  
  
That world never came //  
  
I don't know why I like Ron so much. Maybe because he's the underdog of everything. He's loyal, trustworthy...like a dog, not a good analogue. But I want him. I want to caress him, kiss him. I want to make all the stress of the world melt away as a kiss my way down his lengthy body. I want to hold him in my arms, no wait! I want him to hold me. I just want to please him.  
  
// And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away //  
  
It could never happen though. He would never go for me. We'll never be able to get together. We're too different. We are what we have been since the beginning of the year and it will stay like that forever. It's hopeless. I see him out of the corner of my eye. He's dosing off. I want to tell him it's almost over. I want to tell him to go to sleep and I'll let him copy my notes that I have, even though I'm sitting here doing nothing too. But I can't; Slytherin or not, Snape will deduct points from your house if you interrupt his lecture.  
  
// Now that the world isn't ending  
  
It's love that I'm sending to you  
  
It isn't the love of a hero  
  
And that's why I fear it won't do //  
  
I can' t believe I'm still here. I've looked Voldemort in the eyes many a time. I should be dead. Maybe I should join up with him, and then I wouldn't have to worry about being chased after. I wouldn't be afraid for my life anymore. But then there is that fire head angel next to me that snaps that idea right out of my head.  
  
// And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away //  
  
Finally, the bell rings and everyone quickly leaves. Ron was in a light daze and I nudged him, to wake him up.  
  
"Geez Malfoy! What was that for?" Ron grumbled.  
  
"Bell rang." I mumbled as I packed up my things.  
  
"Oh," is all he says as he leaves to meet up with Harry and Hermione. I over hear him say:  
  
"You are so lucky Harry. You got paired up with Lavender. But me, no! I get stuck with Malfoy as my partner for the rest of the year."  
  
I sigh as I trudge up to my room to read my little writing and watch my blood ooze.  
  
// And they're watching us  
  
They're watching us  
  
As we all fly away // 


	2. 2

// Well, here I am again. This time I'm writing in this bloody diary. It's not like it's a magical dairy, which can respond back.NO, it's a Muggle diary. Thank goodness for that. I don't think I could handle something like that, it would probably say that I'm crazy and I need serious help. It's true, I need the proper assistance but I can't. Amber told me I should do this. Amber Chaffer is a sixth year Slytherin who should be in Hufflepuff. She is the most kind-hearted person I've ever met before in my life.  
  
She knows about everything in my life. From my father to my hopeless endeavor named Ron. She understands that I'm a weak and hurt kitten instead of a snake. I just wish Ron could see that. She knows about my mutilation. She says it scares her because one of these days I could bleed too much and die. I would never do that to her. I would never leave her. But it does cross my mind sometimes, about how I could be staring at my wrists for too long and then.POOF! That's it. I'm worm chow.  
  
I think that's enough for right now. You're not of much use to me right now. Maybe when my life is more exciting, I'll fill your pages up. So, goodbye for now. //  
  
I snap the book shut. I hope this can help with my problems. I sit in a contemplative stupor until someone plops down next to me. Who could be up at this hour? It's 2 in the morning and it freezing down here in the dungeons. Even the fire in front of me can't seem to shake this veil of ice in the common room.  
  
"Hey tiger."  
  
I look over and see Amber sitting next to me. Of course it would be her. She has this motherly aura about her. It's almost like she has a sixth sense about me. She always says that I'm like her little wayward child.  
  
"Hullo, Amber." I breathe as I snuggle into the blankets.  
  
"What are you doing down here in the cold.in the dark.by yourself? Draco, let me see your wrists." Concern coated her every world.  
  
All I can do is comply with her request. I sat there in silence as she appraised my wrists. I feel like a child whose mother is making sure that their "little one" has cleaned under their nails.  
  
"Good. Don't scare me like that again. Now, what were you doing down here?"  
  
"Thinking and writing."  
  
"You actually listened to my suggestion about the diary? Whoa! Hell must be freezing over."  
  
I laugh quietly. "I don't know what to write. Everything I want to say sounds so lame."  
  
"Well, that's what a dairy is for. It's a place for you to tell your deepest secrets, to tell about you want to say.it's a way for you to keep from building up your emotions and one-day exploding." Amber put her arm around me and I scooted over to her.  
  
"But what I have to say is stupid." I mutter.  
  
"Tell me and I'll be the judge of that."  
  
"It's of when I first met Ron." I grinned into her shoulder.  
  
"I want to hear it. I've always wondered about how long you've known him."  
  
"It was around the time Voldemort had went into hiding. Actually, it was about four years later. I was about five years old and there was a party at the Ministry of Magic. And as always mother was out shopping but I knew she was with her seventeen year old lover. So, father had to take me with. When we got there he dropped me off at the day care center for the littler children.  
  
I was grateful. I would probably be out there with the adults, bored out of my mind. I found a corner in the room where all the books were and began to read. About an hour later, some kid came up to me and asked me if I was done with the book. He had brown eyes and the reddest hair I've ever seen. I told him I wasn't. But he, then, thought of a wonderful idea: I could read the book to him since I had already started it. I agreed and I read to him."  
  
"Before I could even finish he told me he was getting bored. I suggested we play a game and I took out my fake magic wand. I wish you could have seen his face light up. We played for hours until my father came to pick me up. He was furious to find out that I was playing with that boy. I asked him why and he yelled and screamed in front of the little boy. He said that he was one of those poor wretches. He was a Weasley.  
  
My father literally dragged me out of there but I hollered and kicked and screamed that I wanted to stay; I didn't care if he was a Weasley or not. It was no use. As I looked backed, I noticed that the boy was crying. I felt so horrible until he threw a book at the back of father's head."  
  
"That's so sweet. So you didn't seem him until your first year at Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yes. I thought about him everyday."  
  
"So. Why were you so mean to him?" she was obviously perplexed. "Why would you insult the person you love?"  
  
"I was afraid. Pathetic right?"  
  
"No. I think it's rather sweet. Now, does he remember you?" she whispered.  
  
"I doubt it. Come on, let's drop it, okay?"  
  
"Sure. Have a good night." Amber leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. She went upstairs and I quickly followed not before I retrieved my diary. 


	3. 3

Yet another day for me to waste away. It's morning and everyone is downstairs eating. I always love this time of the day. It's when I have a moment to myself. I don't have to worry about the day and it's negative problems, the day is new and pure. I should go down and eat but I'm not hungry.  
  
I should write in my diary but there's nothing to write about. Today should be better than the rest since I have Amber in my class today. She brought in a Qual Leser for Care of Magical Creatures. I know nothing about this animal except that I should like it. Or at lest that's what she said. I get to see Ron again so either way I'm not complaining.  
  
I hope Araceli (A/N: Araceli means altar of heaven in Latin.) comes here instead of the Great Hall. I love the Astronomy Tower. In daylight or night- light, this is the place to be. It gives you a great view of the sunset, sunrise, the day sky or the billions of stars that speckle the indigo blanket that appears only for half the day. I wish I could get my life together. Be free like everyone else. All the other kids are carefree people that seem to never have to worry about life and what it throws at them. All they care about is girlfriends and dates and if they will pass the O.W.L.s. But me, I have to worry about if I'll be here tomorrow, if I will be harmed. I can't get into this, yet.  
  
On the horizon, I see Araceli with a parcel tied to her feet. Araceli is my first true friend. Sad, really. I, Draco Malfoy, have an owl for a best friend. Who cares? I'm happy for once. Nothing can bring me down.  
  
She swoops down gracefully besides me. I smile lightly as she ruffles her feathers. She lifts her head to me and nips at my fingers. I untie her burden as she nuzzles her head on my shoulder. She is very affectionate. Araceli is a barn owl with swart and specks of white.  
  
It's a letter she's brought me. It was in a simple envelope with my family crest stamped on the back. So the day begins, I thought grudgingly. I knew I should have stayed in bed. Around our emblem, on the sticker, I could just make out the words: O mais fraco sucumbirá ao mais forte. It must be from father.  
  
I give an inward shudder that even Araceli can feel since she withdrew slightly away from me. I open the letter cautiously.  
  
// My dearest dragon, How are you? Fine I hope. I have heard that you aren't doing so well in you your studies, son. I am worried that you aren't keeping up the family name. You know what that means. I'll arrive this Friday at midnight near that oaf's hut. Draco, you need to learn. If you would be more like me and take this like a man then it would stop. But you are hard headed, so I must teach you a lesson. I will get what I want.  
  
Your caring Father //  
  
I slide down to the floor. He's coming tomorrow. 


	4. 4

I shakily make my way up on my feet a few moments after Araceli left. He'll be here in a day. He'll get what he wants. Never! The one thing he wants he will never have. I'll be damned if he does. I make my way to Hagrid's hut. I pass by Amber who tries to get my attention, but fails. All that I care about right now is this damn letter in my fist.  
  
"Hey, tiger. Wait up! You're bombing. What's wrong?" she whispered as we made our way up the hill that hid the little hut.  
  
"I'm fine except this." I hand her the letter. She whips out her reading glasses and skims the letter.  
  
"Draco," is all she utters as a tear fell from her crystalline eyes. "At his hut?"  
  
"I know, but I'll get through." I smiled but I knew better. It was just an artificial one that I always show her in times like these.  
  
The bell sounded as we approached Hagrid's hovel. When did the first bell ring? Who cares, I looked over towards the back of the small building where in 39 hours I'll be back there, he'll be waiting. I feel tears well up in my eyes but I force them to stay in their place as soon as Ron and company come into view.  
  
I soon feel anger rise up, as the bile will when the big night comes. I'm so jealous of all of them, even the Mudblood. I hate saying it but she's a lucky little bitch. I'd gladly be Potter even though the Dark Lord is after him. You know they were an item. During the Triwizard Tournament, they had a huge fight but after Potter's near death experience with a dragon, Ron realized his true feelings for him and the rest is bloody naffing history. They broke up during the summer but they still have there "moments" together from time to time.  
  
"Well, if it isn't the Mudblood, Scar Face and Weasel. Wow, Weasel, how did you get those new robes? Did you have to sell a family member to get it?" I sneer.  
  
I know I've struck a nerve. It's so easy. Ron is a very emotional person, especially when it comes to his family.  
  
"Calm down Ron. That's all he wants from you, to get upset." Hermione concluded.  
  
"I know. Hullo, Amber." Vocalized Ron. That's another thing, Amber has made friends with the Gryffindor trio. It was rather easy for her since you are drawn to her natural beauty, bubbly laugh and caring personality accompanied with her long auburn locks.  
  
"Hi, Ron, Hermione and Harry." She smiled while looking over warily at me. "Don't mind him. He received a bad letter." She walked off.  
  
"Oh, what did you receive? A nasty letter. Poor Dracy." Taunted Ron.  
  
"Shut your bloody mouth up Weasel. You know nothing of this caliber and I suggest you stay out of it."  
  
Ron smiled; I had just given him enough ammunition to send me to kingdom come. Harry and Hermione watched on, ready to pull us apart before we would begin to fight.  
  
Ron began to mock me. "So, got a letter from mommy or daddy?"  
  
"Shut it, Weasel." I clutch my fists to my side.  
  
"Must be from daddy. What, Father says he doesn't want you to be daddy's little bitch, I mean, little boy?" Around me I heard the light snickers from the Gryffindors and the words of encouragement from the Slytherins.  
  
I felt every emotion I've ever felt while in my father's presence boil inside. The next thing I knew, I had punched him hard in the gut. He doubled over in pain all the while looking up at me in amazement. Where was the teacher when you need them?  
  
As soon as Ron caught his breath, he pounced on me. I toppled over, flat on my back, and Ron on top, strangling me. I knew he hated me but to be trying to kill me.wow. I can't let this slide so I manage to knee him in the back. Harry comes over and pulls Ron off of me while Amber (when did she get back?) pulls me up off the ground.  
  
"What in the hell happened here?" she questions. No one answers. "Hagrid won't be here today so I'm responsible for you all. I won't report this but please tell me what happened?"  
  
"He started it." Ron and I interject at the same time.  
  
"Sure," Hermione rolls her eyes as she surveys Ron. "Are you okay?"  
  
Ron nodded his head in reply. I can't believe what I did. I punched him.how could I? But it did feel good to have in long legs straddling my small frame, even though he was trying to commit murder.  
  
"Okay, everyone, let's just get on with this lesson." She walked back into the hut, quickly emerging with a big, black ball of fur cradled in her arms. I moved away from the group but stayed near Potter, hoping that Ron might say something about me. Pathetic, I know.  
  
All the girls circled around Amber, squealing with delight at the fluffy creature. The rest of us stood back, yet keeping a close eye on Ron and me.  
  
"Okay girls. Could you please stand back so the gentlemen can see? Thank you. Guys can you see back there?"  
  
We all nodded our heads. "You can come up here to pet her." Once again all the girls ran up to it and stroked her.  
  
A few moments passed before the Mudblood asked, "What is it?"  
  
"Great question, Hermione. This is a Qual Leser. For ten points does anyone know what she does and her main purpose?" queried Amber when the girls went back to their previous positions.  
  
No one answered; that's very unusual with Granger in the room.  
  
"I knew no one could get this. A Qual Leser is a cross between a cat and a fuzzle. They are normally used for therapeutic purposes. These creatures can look into someone's soul and mind and read their inner most thoughts. They can detect a tormented soul and the cry for them, make them see or re- live a certain period in their lives that have caused them pain. This one in particular has cured people who have lost family members to the Dark Lord, who've been abused mentally, physically and sexually." She looks me in the eyes. Now I know why she said I would like this so much.  
  
"This creatures works the best with children. Yes, Hermione."  
  
I look over to my far left and see Hermione's hand in the air.  
  
"Amber, I don't understand. How can reliving a painful experience help someone? Also, where did you get this one? I hear they are very hard to find."  
  
"Great questions Hermione. Reliving pain filled memories aren't always fun but bringing up repressed memories can help with the healing process. Many people refuse to talk about it or act as if nothing has happened, so the act is pushed to the back of the mind yet is still reeks havoc on the person's personal life. If, you can bring this up then the healing process can begin.  
  
And yes, these wonderful creatures are very rare but my father is a psychiatrist who specializes in extreme case like child sexual abuse, which can include incest, needs this. Those are the worst because people come in as adults of forty or fifty and the case of abuse could have happened when they were two years old. Lavender, you have a question?"  
  
"Yes," the girl giggled. "What's her name?" The class erupted in laughter at the girl's simple question.  
  
"Her name is Lorna. Anymore?"  
  
I raised my hand. "How does she help the kids how are living through or just experienced the trauma?"  
  
"Well, she has an aura that attracts people to her in those cases. She's almost like a teddy bear. You just what to cuddle up to her because you feel like all the evil in the world will never harm you. So, in cases where the person knows of the abuse or other trauma they feel comfort. Now, I'm going to let her go and see if she can spot any tormented souls."  
  
Amber bent down to ground level and let her loose. The Qual Leser scurried around the little groups of kids as if trying to run away.  
  
"How do you take care of her?" Potter asked as the creature began to sniff he and I out.  
  
"She is surrounded by darkness so as long as you keep her happy she'll be fine. Laughter is her favorite thing in the world."  
  
The cloud of black fur scuttled between Potter and me, looking confused. It soon stopped and stood in the middle, to survey us. She was no taller than one foot. She looked like a puff of black cotton with orange feet sticking out from under her. I was soon snapped out of my thoughts of her appearance and behind my mind's eye I saw images blur by. One was of my father, icy and cold then me as a child, crying in my room. I cringed because I knew he had just left. Then as soon as they started they stopped. I closed my eyes and shook my head loose of the thoughts. I see that Potter had the same experience.  
  
I, then, look down at the creature, straight in the eyes. Those eyes. They were clear but had a tinge of blue to them. I kneel down and scoop the thing into my arms and hold it close. I felt warmth spread over me. Like how my mother used to hold me close. I snuggled in closer as Potter nuzzles his face into her downy softness.  
  
The bell rang; the comfort was over. I was thrown back into my world of worry and anxiety. The Qual Leser jumped out of my arms and ran back to Amber.  
  
"No homework, class." Amber called as the students scurried to their classes. But me and Potter just sat on the ground, wanting that creature back.  
  
"Draco, I'll talk to you later." Amber said as I watched Potter go and catch up with Ron and Hermione. 


	5. 5

So, back in the dorms is where I am. The day is over and I have once again screwed any chance with Ron I ever had. Even though I know I'll never be with him, I still can't get over the fact that I hit him. But it is the only way that I can feel his skin against mine.  
  
Amber was mad at me because I got into a fight with him. She scolded me, yelled at me and then talked to me. She still couldn't believe I was fighting him. I can't help it; I need to get his attention. If that means I must be harsh to him so he can notice me then so be it. I've tried being nice to him. We mustn't forget the time he yelled at me in Potions class. I was simply telling him that it was time to go and he practically jumped down my throat.  
  
Everyone is asleep now so I guess I'll go to dreamland. 26 hours and counting.  
  
// Next day * Morning *//  
  
I think I'll stay in today. No one will notice. I think everyone will be quite happy I'm gone. I think they'll rejoice that the evil Malfoy isn't there anymore to push them around. Hell, I don't think that even I would miss me.  
  
I head down to the bathrooms and turn on the showers. Once again I'm by myself and the rest are downstairs. A cloud of mist is beginning to form already. Good, I like it steaming hot. I love the feeling of scorching pinpricks hitting me with great force. I take out my towel, wash cloth and diary. Yes, it's an unorthodox item to bring with you to go and shower with but I want to get a description of my father down. I magicked my diary to write the words and take down whatever I say.  
  
"My father," I begin as I take off my pajama bottom and top. "He's an important figure in the wizarding community. He is on the school board, actually he runs the school board so he can come and go from Hogwarts whenever he wants without a suspicious eye raised. Too bad for me, I guess. That means he can visit me and punish me. Or teach me as he calls it sometimes."  
  
I take a bar of soap and rub it against my well-sculpted, tight ab muscles. "My father likes me to me fit and look good. He was the one who made me get my hair cut and get bangs. He says he likes the way I look with my hair in my eyes. It turns him on. My father has made me what I am today. He has chosen my clothes, hairstyles and my body figure. He likes to keep me as young and gentle looking; it adds to the innocence of my image."  
  
I scrub harder like I do when he is done with me. I feel dirty because I love the way I look. I take pride in the way I look. I see all the girls, and a few guys, check me out as I go past. But why should I love the image my father makes me out to be? Because I'm becoming as cold as he is, that's why.  
  
"The first time he had me I was afraid that he would be as cold as ice, that he would be frigid. But he was warm. Not a comforting sort of warm but the warmth that reassures you that the person is alive. The first time was harsh. He usually beat me but to rape me.now that was pure hatred."  
  
I think that's all that I can handle for now. So, I stay under the hot waterfall until the heat was given away to the cold. I turn off the water, step out and wrap my towel around my hip. I saunter over to the sink and stare at my reflection. I never knew how pale I was. I guess it's from all the stress I've had as of lately. I rush through the daily rituals of brushing my hair and teeth. I put my pajamas back on; all I want right now is to sleep until midnight.  
  
As I leave the bathroom, the late bell rings. Good, most people should be in class right now. As I stroll down the hall I bump into someone I wish I hadn't.  
  
Ron.  
  
"Hmphf. Watch where you're going," the red head cried aloud.  
  
"Sorry," I mumbled, trying to get away as quick as possible. Ron placed his hand on my arm. Please, let go I scream silently in my head.  
  
"Malfoy? What are you doing here, in the hall, in your pajamas?"  
  
"That's none of your business."  
  
"Yes it is. You're my partner and I don't want Snape breathing down my neck. Now that I'm your partner he doesn't yell at me anymore or take away points. So come on! I don't care if your in your pajamas." He pulled me a couple of inches until I realized I wanted sleep. I wretched my arm from his strong grasp.  
  
"No, I'm not going. Tell him I'm sick. I don't care what you say to him! You can tell him that the little green men have come and are taking me back to the home planet. Hell, I have an even better bloody idea! Just tell him I've skipped! You would love that wouldn't you? You finally have something that can get me in trouble with Snape, Dumbledore and my father! Are you happy now? Go and have your fun. Go back to your happy go lucky life and your part-time love affair with Harry. You know nothing of what I'm going through and you couldn't handle it. Now be gone!" I hollered as I ran down the hall to the Slytherin common room.  
  
~ Ron's POV ~  
  
Whoa! I've never seen Malfoy so worked up before. What was he talking about with the whole getting him in trouble? Even though I would love to get him a detention, I, for some strange reason, felt some sort of feeling for him. I think it was empathy. I don't know.  
  
I head down toward the dungeons, still hearing the echo of Malfoy's feet. Why did he flip out like that? I think that there is more than what meets the eye with that Malfoy character.  
  
"Well, well, well.Mr. Weasley, I see you're late. What's your asinine excuse?" Snape sneers as I enter the classroom.  
  
"I saw Malfoy in the hallway and he didn't look okay, so I took him down to Madam Pomfrey's." I lied.  
  
Everyone looked on dumbfounded. I, Ron Weasley, helped Draco Malfoy, my archenemy, to the nurse's office. Yesterday, I wanted to kill him now I was supposedly concerned with his health.  
  
I sat down and looked over to the empty seat next to me. Now all I can think of is that I had just lied for Malfoy. 


	6. 6

A/N: This chapter is dark! So it's NC-17 and the rest will either stay NC- 17 or R. Also, I want to thank all those who have sent reviews! Keep them coming!  
  
Rogndaldr: Thanx for being my beta! U ROCK!! ^-^ I love you even though you just read my story. But I know my grammar is atrocious and if you still want to read the story after reading the rough draft than you are the KEWLEST!  
  
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The wind whips around me viciously; it's midnight exactly. And he's not here, which only means that he's trying to scare me. God, I'm so cold and I'm, well, afraid, he knows that, and I know it too. What I don't know is if I can survive this. The moon shows its face fully against the black blanket of night. That's very good. The moon reflects beautifully off my skin. It makes my pale skin shimmer and my blonde hair glow like silver.  
  
Crunching of leaves behind me snaps me out of my musings. I hear the grinding of the leaves under designer shoes come closer and closer until a figure appears before me.  
  
"Father," I whisper fearfully. I don't let my voice waver. I do not want him to know how much he has affected me.  
  
"Come," is all he says as he begins to walk into the edge of the Forbidden Forest.  
  
I follow like a small pup. But I won't receive love and affection at the end of this little walk. All I see are my feet moving one in front of the other. I do not see the trees or the recognizable landmarks of my surroundings because I am too focused on what tonight will bring.  
  
We stop abruptly. So, the time has come. Time to put on a little show for him. Sad, but I know what my father wants. Thank goodness I'm a quick learner. I have the knife in my pocket, the little wiggle in my hips and the process that will bring this rendezvous to a quick end.  
  
I see he's lain out a blanket.how thoughtful of him. I take a deep, calming breath.  
  
"So, how will we do this? The easy way or the hard way?" he purrs as I pull out my engraved knife.  
  
"Surprise me," I whisper back. He stands a few feet before me, observing me.  
  
//Oh, what fun we will have// There's no sense in putting up a fight. I unclasp the top button of my robes then the next and the next until the forest green cloth flows and puddles around my feet, all the while looking up at him through my lush eyelashes.  
  
"More," he whispers, more like growls. So I progress, dropping the knife to my side. I hear the soft thud as it falls upon my cloak. Next, I slid my hands down my body until I feel the hem of my T-shirt. I slowly pulled it over my head. I could hear the approving grunt from my father.  
  
I began to shake a bit as soon as the cold air brushes against my sensitive skin. Somehow I manage to get all my clothes off without becoming sick. I walk up to him and I can feel the arousal he gets from this before I can see that twisted smile on his face.  
  
He loves to do a bit of role-play. He likes me to be the young naïve boy who wishes his older mentor would show him the ways of the sensual touch. Thankfully, tonight, he just wants the sex.  
  
I unbutton his robes and the shirt underneath. He places his hands on my naked shoulders and then he trails them up and down my arms. Muscles involuntarily tense under his clammy palms.  
  
"Relax, son." He gets some perverted pleasure out of our time together. I guess it's because we spend it doing things that are sinful and shunned upon by society. I think him daft. I don't know why I'm not running away or screaming, maybe because I know he put a privacy charm around this area. Or maybe because I know he will kill me either way.  
  
I can't stand talking, so I get down to business and kiss his shoulder and down to his nipple. I take it into my mouth gentle suckling it as a baby calf to its mother. I hear and feel him shudder in ecstasy. I feel his arousal press into me firmly just below my waistline. He began to grind himself into me. //Can we please hurry this up?// I scream inside my head.  
  
"Get down on your knees," he whispers while I squirm. I hate this part.  
  
I do as I'm told and I can feel the bits of decaying leaves under my knees. I hear the sound I've always feared: his pants unzipping. The soft hush of his pants hitting the ground is the next sound I hear.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Get to work," he dictated brutishly.  
  
I swallow what ever is left of my pride and I take his partially erect phallus into my mouth. I refuse to tease it, just get it up, in and out is my main goal for this evening. I started out being confident but now I'm scared and disgusted with myself. I slid my tongue underneath him and suck away.  
  
It goes on for minutes but it feels like an eternity and a half. I can feel the sticky substance flows down my throat, while the rest runs down my neck.  
  
"Go lay down," I am instructed. "And go get the knife." I freeze in place.  
  
"But I don't want to use the knife. The last time you used it, I was a disaster. You said you would never use it again." I pleaded.  
  
"I lied. What are you going to do about it?" he said in a threatening manner.  
  
I went and picked up the knife. If I thought this wasn't couldn't get any worse, but nonetheless, it did. It got much, much worse. I positioned myself on the blanket with the glinting blade.  
  
I hear him once again growl as he sits and watches me begin to cut my chest. I mark myself with the double cross, blood seeps out of me at a painstaking rate. I didn't feel the pain; I'm to worried to realize.  
  
"Touch yourself."  
  
Gladly, I think. I can imagine that Ron is here, touching me, caressing me, holding me. I lower my hand down my body as a vivid fantasy plays out in my mind. I lightly grasp my cock and believe that it is Ron. I rub my thumb over the tip and I can feel myself begin to become slightly aroused. But I still feel dirty because it turns me on to think that someone is watching me.  
  
I'm quickly snapped out of my musings just before I can stop him from taking my most prized possession. He presses his lips to mine harshly. He pries my mouth open and jams his tongue in. I refused to reply to his wants so he rips away from me.  
  
"I always get what I want you bastard." He whispers acidly into my ear. He whips out the silver blade and holds it to my throat. "Make a sound and I'll kill you. You are becoming quicker in your movements, as if to get rid of me. Fine, I must leave anyway, so let me in. Let me take you once again. Who are you?"  
  
I cringe inwardly. I refuse to say it.  
  
"Who are you?" He presses the sharp edge into my neck. "Say it."  
  
"I'm yours."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My body, mind and soul belong to you. I am your slave."  
  
He forces his way into me sharply. I shut my eyes as the tears flow down my cheeks. He didn't prepare me. He just took what he needed.  
  
He thrusts cruelly in and out until he comes once again. I can feel his cum and my blood drips down my legs. I lay there numbly as he dresses and leave the scene just before he tosses me a few coins. I thought he couldn't cheapen this experience. I mutter the words, which seals my wounds instantly.  
  
I need a shower. 


	7. 7

I can't seem to move from my position on this soiled blanket. As I sit up, I feel the long repressed bile rise and gush out of my mouth. I lean over to the side and let it loose. When it passes, I wipe my mouth clean and pull on my clothes. I head back to the castle, yearning to be in a shower.  
  
The wind wipes around me viciously, I see the school ahead but I feel as if with every step I make, I move backwards two. At long last, I reach the heavy double oak doors that will lead me to a serene place.to me at least. I trudge my way to the nearest bathroom all the while fingering the sharp blade in my pocket. I barely get the light on when I strip down to my bare essentials with the knife in hand.  
  
I stumbled in to the shower turning on the water, cranking up the heat and water pressure. Sitting on the cool tiles, I duck my head, then body, under the pulsating jets of sparkling, steaming water. One ordeal down, many more to get through. Why do I let him do this? Why must I always turn him on? I honestly believe that I do this.  
  
All these questions and more bombard me. It's time for the internal pain to give way to the external. I reach over and grab the utensil that will make it all happen. I watch as it seemingly winks back at me, knowing what will happen next. I let out a strangled cry as I place the blade on my wrist, put pressure on it and slide it across my skin swiftly. I see a thin line of red begin to trickle onto the pristine tile beneath me. That was for every attempted suicide I've tried.  
  
I have become transfixed; I don't want to pull my attention away from it but I have more pain to relive. Tonight's actions now flash before my eyes and I cried. More like sobbed out in anger, pain and confusion. I wish I could slice my thighs where he has kissed, bit and licked. I wish I could slice the innermost part of my thigh, where his body has lain, nestled perfectly yet obscenely between them. I would watch as the blood poured forth; I'd continued to cut until I move back to my arms. I cut both of them, for everytime I had to hold him in my arms, stroke him, and make all the stresses of the day go away. I wonder as I continue to try and reach my back, why must I make him feel better sexually? He is my father for fuck sake.  
  
I would, then, slash my lower back; this is where he has always touched me before entry. I'd rather not dwell on that. But I brush these images from my mind for I know I would never do that as I make one more wound, a new one. I make a small gash over my ankle. That is for my Ronald. The one who has kept me alive this long, the one who will always brighten my day.  
  
I sit here, with the water cascading and blood flowing down the drain, that I barely notice that I'm not the only one in this room. I heard a slight movement and asked aloud, "Who are you and how long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough."  
  
"Well, at least show me who you are," I whisper harshly.  
  
The person steps out from the shadows and I see a glint of gold and red.  
  
"Ron." 


	8. 8

A/N: Thanx for the responses! I really appreciate them! I'm sorry for taking so long on this chapter and for the slight Ron OOC-ness! Read and enjoy!  
  
"Ron," I repeat. Please, tell me I made a mistake, is what I repeat over and over in my head. This is the last thing I want Ron to see me doing. But I soon get my answer from the plaid pajamas clad boy.  
  
"Malfoy?" He steps out from behind the shadows so that now we can see one another. "Malfoy! What are you doing?!" he exclaims, horror written on his face.  
  
I don't answer him. I keep my head down, not wanting to see what his reaction is. Time ticks away as we both try to take in our current situation. The only sound was of the shower running at full force.  
  
"Wh-What are you doing here?" I stutter. We once again fell into another long period of silence until Ron replied:  
  
"This is the Gryffindor bathroom," he steps a little bit closer.  
  
"Oh," How did I end up in the Gryffindor bathrooms? No matter, I'm more worried about Ron's curious eyes on me. I wish I had paid more attention in Transfiguration. At least I would know how to change myself into water or blend in with the background. "What do you want?"  
  
He didn't respond; he came into the designated shower area and sat down next to me.  
  
"Hold on. Don't want to see all of this." He grabs the nearest item of clothing and covers me with my soiled robe. "I love just sitting in the showers too. You know that's what I came in here to do? It seems to help clear my mind when there's a lot going on."  
  
"Sure Weasley," I move over a bit so he can sit under the spray of water. "What could possibly be troubling you? Let me see.should you finally find a way to make your father realize that there is nothing in the whole Muggle business and he should go into a more viable field of the wizarding world? Maybe you're wondering if you should stay in the shadows of your friends or join the dark side like many others suspect. Or your wondering if you should go up to the dorms and fuck Potter's brains out." I said, finally giving light to some of the many questions I had for Ron.  
  
He sighed deeply, "No, I was wondering what is wrong with Malfoy. I wanted to know what was going on with my partner that made him have a little outburst in the halls yesterday. But since the source of my confusion is sitting next to me, what's wrong?"  
  
I looked over to my left and was immediately greeted with a pair of chocolate brown eyes. I quickly darted my eyes upward, noticing how his vivid red hair was now a blood red or the color of a rich and vintage red wine. I've suddenly become aware of my nakedness and of Ron's nonchalant attitude towards it.  
  
"Nothing Weasley," I mutter.  
  
"If it's about your current situation', you know, your nakedness, don't worry about it. I've lived in a house with nine people and only two bathrooms; you get use to seeing people in their birthday suits. So I know that's not the problem, but what you just told me was a bold face lie. What's really the matter?"  
  
I dig in the pants pocket and pull out the few coins my father deposited to me earlier.  
  
"This," I place them in his hand.  
  
"Your money? I thought this is what gave you the greatest happiness?" He stared curiously at the golden lucre.  
  
"No, it's the meaning behind it," I wish he wasn't so dense. I'm sitting here, bleeding, and he wonders what's wrong?! But I can't get mad at him. He doesn't now what's going on in my life. If only he was interested in the truth of my life, not the happy, well arrogant, front I put up.  
  
"Power? I don't know. Tell me! I'm worried about you believe it or not." He pleaded  
  
"Not now. I feel dizzy and nauseous. Ask me this later.when I feel better." I mumble.  
  
"Oh.Oh! Yeah, I was wondering about that. Come on, let's get your clothes on."  
  
I weakly nod my head in response. He turns off the water and grabs my clothes that were scattered about the room. I stand up slowly and put on my pants and shirt.  
  
"Easy now," he whispered, "We are going to the hospital wing." He placed an arm under me to support my weight. I fought off unconsciousness until I heard him whisper, 'We're here'.  
  
Next thing I see is darkness. 


	9. 9

I inertly open my eyes. 'Where am I?' is the first thought I have as I take in my surroundings. I quickly deduce that I'm in the hospital wing by the crispy white sheets on regulatory twin size beds. Madame Pomfrey's office down the hall and a few curtains that would go around a bed folded in the corner. I try to sit up but dizziness suddenly envelops me, sending me to lay back down on the bed.  
  
I turn my head to the right and see an occupant in a chair next to me. It seems that it's a small fire wrapped in a worn blanket. I wanted to somehow signal the nurse to the flame but as the blanket slides down, I realize it's Ron. My knight with flaming red hair. I consider the many possibilities as to why I am here when Ron awakes. I hastily roll over on my other side, so he doesn't see my wistful stares.  
  
"Malfoy?" I hear him whisper.  
  
Doesn't he know I'm trying to sleep? I grip the blankets tighter, pulling them up over my head. I feel him nudge me in the back. Will he leave me alone? I wonder yet, truthfully, I hope he never leaves.  
  
"What?" I groan aloud in mock protest. I hear him lightly snort in amusement.  
  
"Wake up. Are you okay?" He sits on the edge of the bed, back turned to me.  
  
"I'm up. And yes.I'm okay."  
  
"Good. You gave me a scare back there, Draco. Why did you do it? You know," he looks down at his feet sheepishly, "the cut marks on you."  
  
"Everyone has their bad days." I smirk. I try to take this whole thing lightly but.how can I? I passed out. That's never happened to me!  
  
"True, but no one goes and cuts themselves. What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing that concerns you. I have my problems and that's it. What are they going to do to me?" I whisper softly. I've heard of people who attempt suicide go to a special wing in the castle for rehabilitation and psychological evaluations.  
  
"They're going to remove you from Slytherin and take you to the Northeast wing. They plan to keep you there for the minimum, which is three months, and if anything goes wrong or they find any evidence that suggests that you need to stay longer, they'll keep you until they see fit." He explained to me calmly.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I overheard Madame Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore talking while you were sleep."  
  
I sit there in a semi-catatonic state. Even though I knew they were going to put me there, it still threw me off guard. How will I survive in the Northeast wing, or the 'Loony Bin' as the general, normal, public calls it? How will the other students react when they hear that I, Draco Malfoy, have finally snapped?  
  
"Are you scared?"  
  
It's him again; he's moved back to the chair he was sleeping in.  
  
"What do you think? Of course I'm scared! What will others think? What will my father say?!?" I didn't even think of that! He'll kill me because people are now closing in on his little secret.  
  
"It's only for 3 months. If they treat you any differently then, you'll just have to get through this by yourself...don't you still have Amber? She'd never turn her back on you. And your father will never know, unless you tell him yourself."  
  
"But three months.that's till the end of the year!"  
  
"I know but you can't worry about that right now. Go to sleep, Draco. You have a long 3 months a head of you." He soothed. He lightly pushed the covers up over me and left the hospital wing.  
  
As I watch my choleric angel walk out of view, I can only think of what will happen... what I will be going through, what lays ahead. But I know I will get through this as long as I have my red haired angel.  
  
Drift off to sleep with only one thought on my mind: Ron called me by my first name. 


End file.
